Skip to main content

If holidays with family bring more fear than cheer — a Va. doctor’s recommendations

The holidays can be a joyous time with your family. It can also be stressful to navigate high expectations, unresolved family conflicts and busy schedules.

“The pursuit to have a perfect holiday experience can leave little room for rest or personal well-being,” said Dr. Christie Youssef, family and lifestyle medicine certified physician with Kaiser Permanente in Fairfax, Virginia.

That’s why many people are skipping the big gatherings and choosing a solo trip rooted in self care instead.

“Travel companies have started to see a significant rise in solo holiday bookings, with some doubling since 2022,” she said.

Youssef said it’s OK to set boundaries and politely decline invitations if that’s what you need for your mental health, but be prepared for pushback from your family.

“It may not necessarily be about them. It has everything to do with what’s good for you and your mental health,” she said. “Accept that not everything will go perfectly, or you’re not going to always please everyone with your decision.”

You can still connect with your family through a phone or video call while reconnecting with yourself.

“Reconnect with what makes you feel whole. It gives you some rejuvenation and time to reflect, and reduces anxiety tenfold,” she said. “You may feel bad about it, but in the end, you’re better for it.”

If you do plan on attending a big family gathering, you can still find time alone to reset. Youssef recommended a walk outside or limiting your time there. You’ll enjoy the holiday season more with a healthier mindset.

“I’m giving you permission to prioritize your own self-care, if you find that big family gatherings don’t bring you joy,” Youssef said.

Thanksgiving is supposed to be fun, not perfect: Travelers talk about their weekend

Most of us hoped our Thanksgiving holiday weekend was filled with great food, perfect weather and zero drama. Sadly, that only happens in Hallmark movies, while real life is closer to the Steve Martin and John Candy classic '80s film, "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles."
Read Next Story