Words matter, but under stress, many office employees and bosses may say things to co-workers and subordinates they don’t mean. Or, perhaps it is exactly what they mean, but they shouldn’t have chosen the words they did.
Language instruction site Preply surveyed almost 1,000 Americans on their experiences with workplace stress and its impact on communication, and 87% admit to using regrettable language under stress.
When asked such as what, there were some common phrases at the top of the survey.
“‘I don’t care,’ ‘Not my job,’ and ‘This is a waste of time.’ All of those phrases generally convey a huge lack of empathy, and to a certain extent are a way for someone to really verbally point the finger at the other person,” said Silvia Johnson, head of methodology at Preply.
Others include: “I’m too busy,” “Who cares,” “You’re overreacting,” and “I knew this would fail.”
Stress-induced remarks have consequences.
According to Preply’s survey, more than two-fifths of those responding said their words, under stress, have sparked misunderstandings or conflicts. More men than women said so. Perhaps unexpectedly, Boomers, the most seasoned workers, were more likely than other generations to find their words leading to conflict.
There are phrases managers use that, rightly, trigger their employees and lead to stress.
“‘I have some bad news,’ ‘We need to talk,’ and ‘I expected more from you,’” Johnson said topped the survey list.
There are better ways to communicate with co-workers when under stress, and with employees, when it comes to negative feedback.
“If you can articulate your thoughts in your mind before speaking them out loud, it might help you think about how you would want someone to speak to you. There are a couple of phrases that are particularly calming, like ‘We’ll figure it out,’ ‘We can handle this,’ and ‘I’m here for you,’” Johnson said.
Bosses should also immediately follow up with support and potential solutions, instead of just delivering bad news, she said.
Regrettable responses in personal relationships were also noted in Preply’s report, with the top three being “I don’t care,” “You never listen,” and “It’s always about you.”
Preply’s survey results, broken down by industry and age group, as well as other suggestions on how to avoid stress-induced miscommunications, is online.