Skip to main content

The Pros and Cons of Teen Sleepovers

By U.S. News & World Report

Your children may have started sleeping over at their friends’ homes during the middle school years or perhaps when they were even younger.

Maybe their first sleepover was at a relative’s house or related to a school trip. When kids are younger, sleepovers are mostly about bonding and growing up. Parents are usually in touch with the parents of their younger kids’ friends and can easily check in and find out about the plans for the evening.

Fast forward to the teen years, and sleepovers aren’t so straightforward. When your kids get older and more independent, you’re probably not as connected to their friends’ parents, so plans for the evening are likely less clear.

[Read: 6 Tips for Talking to Your Teen About Anything at All.]

Yes, I do feel that there is some merit to the sleepover in adolescence. Teens need to learn to function as members of a group not only at school and at extracurricular activities but also at the homes of others. It’s also important for them to develop the ability to function well away from home. After all, many of them will be away at college or living on their own in just a few years.

However, I have some concerns about the teen sleepover, and I feel that you should be aware of what goes on at sleepovers away from your home. It’s also my hope that when your teen’s friends are sleeping over at your house you will be mindful of these concerns.

Here are some things to keep in mind:

A sleepover is likely to disrupt more than teen’s sleep schedule. In many cases, when you get a group of teens together who are spending the night, they stay up very late. This, of course, leads to sleep deprivation, and that can lead to tired, reckless and distracted driving. Sadly, I have heard of tragic car accidents following sleepovers. While this is probably the worst-case scenario, sleep deprivation is never associated with anything positive. The day following a sleepover is often characterized by irritabilty and difficulty concentrating. I suggest that you limit consecutive sleepovers because of this issue. I’m sure you’re already painfully aware of how sleep deprivation affects your teen’s behavior and mood.

[See: 10 Concerns Parents Have About Their Kids’ Health.]

They might be up to something else entirely. Teens sometimes sleep over at friends’ homes simply to have fun and spend time together. At other times, however, they’re sleeping away from home so that they can go to parties that you wouldn’t allow them to attend. They may also be sleeping elsewhere to avoid getting caught drinking. After all, if they’re not coming home after spending the evening drinking, then you won’t be able to smell alcohol on their breath or take note of their behavior. I certainly hope that this isn’t what’s happening, but I know teens and how they attempt to avoid supervision from parents.

Your teen might act like a different kid. Sometimes teens will behave differently in groups than they will when they’re alone or even with one or two friends. When you put a group of teens together at a sleepover, that can increase the risk they will engage in reckless behavior. This includes misusing social media and posting photos and comments that they would not post in the light of day when they’re not influenced by group dynamics. Talk to your teens about your expectations for appropriate use of social media at all times. I suggest randomly looking at your teen’s use of social media as well, so that you’re aware of what’s going on in his or her virtual life. Also, keep in mind that teens may be using the sleepover as a way of spending time with a romantic partner. Pay attention to this, as I hear about this scenario frequently.

[See: 4 Opioid Drugs Parents Should Have on Their Radar.]

I’m not suggesting banning your teens from sleepovers, but instead that you keep an eye on things. Get to know their friends before you allow them to spend long days and nights at their homes. Try your best to become acquainted with their friends’ parents. Let your teens know that they have the right to leave sleepovers if they begin to feel uncomfortable. I am always a fan of parents letting their kids of all ages know that they will pick them up from uncomfortable situations at any time of day and night.

OK, I have warned you about the risks associated with teen sleepovers. Be aware. Here’s to safer nights!

More from U.S. News

7 Ways Technology Can Torpedo Your Health

6 Ways to Help Kids Combat Materialism

10 Ways to Raise a Giving Child

The Pros and Cons of Teen Sleepovers originally appeared on usnews.com

Don’t Settle for Student Loans to Pay for Online Education

By WTOP Staff
Online college programs are becoming a more popular choice for prospective students, with one study finding that more than 6 million students enrolled in at least one online course in fall 2015. The popularity of these courses can be attributed in part to their flexibility with working adults' schedules, students' ability to progress more quickly through online programs and, oftentimes, cheaper tuition. [See 10 low-cost online bachelor's programs for out-of-state students.]Online degrees can be beneficial to many college students, but some studies have shown online learners complete their programs at lower rates than students at traditional brick-and-mortar campuses. Individuals with student loans but no degree comprise two-thirds of defaulted borrowers. Though these numbers are not encouraging, just like for traditional programs, there are ways to reduce how much you'll need to borrow for an online program to ensure you won't become one of these statistics. Don't just settle on borrowing student loans to cover the whole cost of your program and living expenses. Instead, start thinking about how to cut costs and cover your balance in different ways, such as the following. -- Grants and scholarships: Even though you are taking an online course, you can still apply and receive grants and scholarships. But your first step should be to complete the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, commonly referred to as the FAFSA, which will allow you to receive a Pell Grant if your expected family contribution is low enough. The EFC criteria and award amounts are adjusted annually, but the 2017-2018 academic year awards range from $606 to $5,920, which could significantly lower the amount you borrow annually. Your next step is to apply for scholarships. You can start by checking online scholarship search engines, such as the Salt Scholarship Search, College Board's BigFuture and Peterson's. But don't forget to take advantage of local organizations and your school's financial aid office. Both may offer scholarships that you can't find with a national scholarship search. [Review these 10 sites to kick off your scholarship search.]For instance, organizations like the Elks Club, Knights of Columbus or the Rotary Club typically offer scholarships annually to local students. Just because you're going to school online doesn't mean you're ineligible. Visit your local library for scholarship listings, and ask around town. You might be surprised how many local organizations offer scholarships. While these scholarships typically aren't large, every little bit counts. Each dollar you receive in a scholarship is a dollar you don't have to borrow and pay interest on. -- Work-study: Another option for online students may be work-study awards. Not all students enrolled in online programs are eligible, but students at some schools -- including, for example, SUNY Empire State College and Liberty University -- are. Work-study awards are not given upfront like scholarships and grants. In most cases, they are an offer to earn up to the awarded amount if you secure an eligible work-study job. While there is a misconception that all work-study jobs must be on campus, students can work for off-campus, nonprofit or public employers as long as the work is in the public's interest. You may be able to work for a for-profit employer if the job is relevant to your course of study. No matter who the outside employer is, it will need to have an established agreement with your college for you to receive work-study funds. Remember, to be eligible for federal financial aid, you must be enrolled and pursuing a degree or certificate. If you're not working toward a credential, Pell Grants and work-study won't be option, but you may still be able to take advantage of private scholarships -- just be sure to read the eligibility criteria carefully. [Explore what to know about financial aid in online programs.]-- Pay as you go: One of the great benefits to enrolling online is the flexible schedule, which can allow you to complete your college coursework around your responsibilities. But prospective students often overlook using their part- or full-time job earnings as an option for paying for college. Almost 80 percent of college students in 2015 worked at least part time while attending classes, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. By budgeting and thinking strategically about your college costs, you can likely reduce your dependence on student loans by paying a portion out of pocket. Many -- but not all -- online programs are less expensive than traditional programs and often have shorter payment periods. Six, eight or 10 weeks are common course durations. Because of the frequency of payments in an online setting, you may be well-placed to pay as you go and possibly avoid borrowing altogether. Attending college online and avoiding student loans may be challenging, but if you are willing to put in the effort, you can limit the amount you need to borrow. More from U.S. News Q&A: Understanding Student Loan Discharge Eligibility Student Loan Refinancing Isn't Right for All Borrowers
Read Next Story

Related News

Frustration grows in Venezuela as earthquake death toll reaches 1,430

Israel and Lebanon sign framework agreement with US in ‘first step’ toward peace, Rubio says

Trump-endorsed populist poised to become Colombia’s next president as rival challenges vote