If you’re a parent who’s worried about the possibility that your teen could become hooked on drugs or alcohol, one thing you definitely don’t want to do is treat them like a mini version of yourself.

That’s because you’re not of the same brain — that is, your adolescent’s brain is still developing and differs from an adult’s. As nature intended, your teen is able to absorb new information and make neural connections at a faster rate than adults can. But at this stage in development, teens are also neurologically inclined to take more risks and try new things — a very necessary, crucial part of growing up, and a propensity that can also put them in precarious positions. For one thing, teens are more vulnerable to addiction than adults.

“The teenage brain is really in a unique developmental stage that is still very much under construction and it has unique strengths … and weaknesses,” says neurologist Dr. Frances Jensen, chair of the department of neurology in the University of Pennsylvania’s Perelman School of Medicine, and co-author of “The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults.” “Ironically, both play into this increased susceptibility to addiction.”

[See: 4 Opioid Drugs Parents Should Have on Their Radar.]

She says it’s important, first, to remember that the brain is still developing. Emerging neuroscience has shed a lot of light on this process, and made it clear that any assumption to the contrary is simply off-base. “The brain is the last organ in the body to fully mature,” Jensen points out. “It doesn’t get completed really until your mid- to late-20s.” This happens, on average, a little faster in girls and young women than boys and young men, though the rate of development varies for each individual.

During that time, there’s a whole lot going on, since kids and teens can make neural connections quickly. What happens in this critical period may, in part, affect how intelligent a person is. “It turns out that human research has shown that you can actually even change your IQ in the teen years,” Jensen says.

But the same ease of experiential learning can rewire the brain in ways that are problematic, too, like when a teen begins smoking cigarettes. Compared to a fully developed adult brain, the adolescent brain more rapidly creates circuits in reward centers of the brain, like the limbic system, in response to addictive substances. As a result, teens can become addicted more quickly; and the addiction has a stronger hold. Experts say it’s harder for adults who started smoking as kids or teens to quit than it is for those who first lit up as adults to kick the habit, and the same holds true for other drugs and alcohol.

When it comes to making a decision about whether to take that first smoke, hit or drink, teens face another neurological disadvantage as well: The brain’s frontal lobe, including the pre-frontal cortex, which is responsible for executive functioning — things ranging from planning, reasoning, emotion regulation and self-control — is the last area of the brain to fully develop. “Those higher order functions … actually develop last in adolescence and early adulthood,” says Dr. Jonathan Stevens, a psychiatrist and chief of adolescent and outpatient services at Menninger Clinic in Houston.

That’s not to say teens are predestined to always throw caution to the wind and chase pleasure no matter the costs, while adults are stalwart bastions of responsibility. Brain changes and personal differences — as well as the decisions an individual makes — are far more nuanced and varied than that. In fact, experts say it’s defeating — and inaccurate — to broad-brush teens in such simplistically overt ways.

[See: 7 Health Risks of Binge Drinking You Can’t Ignore.]

Rather, parents would be well-served to keep these brain differences in mind, and talk to teens about the neurological changes they’re going through, when counseling them on risks of drugs and alcohol. Mental health and addiction specialists say it’s also helpful to approach this as a team effort, where parents prioritize their relationship with their teen first, and provide guidance through the decision-making process that taps into the full potential of the adult brain.

“Teens don’t have a fully developed prefrontal cortex and their parents usually do,” says Shelly Simpson, a social work and addictions counselor at Menninger. So to give adolescents a mental edge while brain development is ongoing, she recommends “helping them make good decisions, helping them problem-solve, helping them think empathetically and regulate their emotions.”

It’s important, too, not to lose sight of why teens have such a strong impulse to step out and push limits sometimes — even if it does cause you to lose sleep. “That is what’s making them an adult — that’s what’s making them who they are,” says Molly Bobek, director of clinical implementation and licensed therapist specializing in family therapy at The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse. “That’s giving them the opportunity to experience new things, to understand what they like, who they want to be around, what kind of person they want to be. So, yeah, it’s a time with a lot of risk, but it’s also a time for excitement and new frontiers.”

However, that doesn’t mean it’s best to be laissez faire about kids experimenting with mind-altering substances. “I think parents should set clear expectations,” Simpson says. When it comes to use of drugs and alcohol, she adds, “I think that should be abstinence.” Experts say parents should confront kids about substance use, but not be overly harsh in doing so.

In addition to beginning to talk with kids about drugs and alcohol, and the real-world dangers, well before they become adolescents, parents are urged to speak plainly and accurately about these dangers, from the potential for overdosing to how it can affect the brain to impaired driving. Speaking only in generalities or exaggerating the truth will break down trust and can shut down open communication that is so pivotal to influencing teens to make prudent choices.

[See: 10 Concerns Parents Have About Their Kids’ Health.]

Bobek suggests parents be warm and authoritative — setting clear limits, boundaries and expectations. Seek to better understand where your teen is coming from — meeting them where they’re at developmentally — rather than condemning them for doing things you don’t understand. “Curiosity can go a long way, moreso than lecturing or preaching — it’s not effective,” she says. And, experts emphasize, prioritize staying connected with your teen; after all, you don’t want to be of two totally different minds about things, even if you do have notably different brains. “The most important expectation is one of being in communication with one another,” Bobek reiterates.

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Parents: Get Inside Your Adolescent’s Brain to Prevent Addiction originally appeared on usnews.com