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When Kids Go Back to School, It Can Be Hard On Parents, Too

By U.S. News & World Report

As the summer winds down, there’s much focus — including in advertising — on how elated parents surely feel about kids returning to school. In my real-life experience, however, the emotions of a great many parents more closely resemble sadness, anxiety and even resentment.

The long daylight hours with no homework and few structured activities give parents a break from working late into the night to help a child finish a project, study for a test or bake cupcakes. The start of school means getting back to all of that, not to mention the need for increased vigilance with things like sticking to a regular bedtime.

One mom, Emily — a patient of mine whose last name I’m not using to protect her privacy — summed it up perfectly: “I so much prefer the mother I am in the summer,” she says. “I listen to my kids, instead of cutting them off because it’s bedtime. I participate in activities with them, rather than driving them to activities, and I barely ever yell. There’s really nothing to upset me!”

[See: 13 Tips for Getting Kids Health-Ready for Back to School.]

The transition for kids can be equally difficult, which also presents a challenge for parents. Of course, some children love returning to the structure and built-in social opportunities school provides. But for others — especially older kids with heavier workloads, or children with academic or social challenges — starting the school year can trigger significant anxiety. This can result in trouble sleeping, bad moods or other negative behavior that parents must contend with.

As a parent, feeling emotionally strong and ready to take on challenges is important as the school year begins. This emotional strength begins by recognizing that negative feelings are completely understandable. It’s stressful to jump back into homework and resume a schedule that’s jam-packed with activities. Regardless of what TV ads try to convince you, it’s also normal to feel sad about giving up the emotional connectedness with kids that the summer break offers parents. If we dig even deeper, many parents (myself included) feel a touch of sadness at the start of each school year, because it brings a child closer to adulthood — a time when parenting is redefined into a much smaller role. Understanding all these feelings gives one the opportunity to make changes that will mitigate them.

[Read: How Parental Stress Negatively Affects Kids.]

Start by really focusing on what you will miss about summer, and work towards preserving it as much as possible. For example, if you love the time to just hang out with your kids without pressure, build this into your life. Designate weekend time, or even a couple of times each month, to play board games or go for a walk. Look for activities that elicit the same feelings as the beach and the playground. Seek out indoor play areas, or just bundle up and go outside. Refrain from discussing stressful topics or using the time to catch up on homework. The activities may be different in cooler weather, but the time spent together will make you and your child just as happy.

If summer makes you feel like a better version of yourself as a parent, nothing should stop you from working on being that person year-round. In fact, I recommend working toward that goal! It’s primarily about achieving a new perspective. The reason you might be calmer or not yell as much in the summer is because there is nothing “serious” to get so upset about. Ask yourself the following question each time you are about to yell at, reprimand or lose your temper with your child: “Will I achieve any meaningful, positive change?” I can safely say that your answer will always be “no,” because yelling doesn’t change children in the long-term.

[See: 12 Questions You Should Ask Your Kids at Dinner.]

Although it’s important to keep your child on track during the school year, there is no behavior so serious or egregious as to warrant compromising your relationship with your child. Rather, hold onto the more relaxed, less frustrated summer parent that still lives within you. Recognize that your relationship with your child is always much more important than any behaviors you are trying to change. This perspective, and the bond it nurtures between you and your child, will carry you right through until next summer.

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When Kids Go Back to School, It Can Be Hard On Parents, Too originally appeared on usnews.com

Don’t Settle for Student Loans to Pay for Online Education

By WTOP Staff
Online college programs are becoming a more popular choice for prospective students, with one study finding that more than 6 million students enrolled in at least one online course in fall 2015. The popularity of these courses can be attributed in part to their flexibility with working adults' schedules, students' ability to progress more quickly through online programs and, oftentimes, cheaper tuition. [See 10 low-cost online bachelor's programs for out-of-state students.]Online degrees can be beneficial to many college students, but some studies have shown online learners complete their programs at lower rates than students at traditional brick-and-mortar campuses. Individuals with student loans but no degree comprise two-thirds of defaulted borrowers. Though these numbers are not encouraging, just like for traditional programs, there are ways to reduce how much you'll need to borrow for an online program to ensure you won't become one of these statistics. Don't just settle on borrowing student loans to cover the whole cost of your program and living expenses. Instead, start thinking about how to cut costs and cover your balance in different ways, such as the following. -- Grants and scholarships: Even though you are taking an online course, you can still apply and receive grants and scholarships. But your first step should be to complete the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, commonly referred to as the FAFSA, which will allow you to receive a Pell Grant if your expected family contribution is low enough. The EFC criteria and award amounts are adjusted annually, but the 2017-2018 academic year awards range from $606 to $5,920, which could significantly lower the amount you borrow annually. Your next step is to apply for scholarships. You can start by checking online scholarship search engines, such as the Salt Scholarship Search, College Board's BigFuture and Peterson's. But don't forget to take advantage of local organizations and your school's financial aid office. Both may offer scholarships that you can't find with a national scholarship search. [Review these 10 sites to kick off your scholarship search.]For instance, organizations like the Elks Club, Knights of Columbus or the Rotary Club typically offer scholarships annually to local students. Just because you're going to school online doesn't mean you're ineligible. Visit your local library for scholarship listings, and ask around town. You might be surprised how many local organizations offer scholarships. While these scholarships typically aren't large, every little bit counts. Each dollar you receive in a scholarship is a dollar you don't have to borrow and pay interest on. -- Work-study: Another option for online students may be work-study awards. Not all students enrolled in online programs are eligible, but students at some schools -- including, for example, SUNY Empire State College and Liberty University -- are. Work-study awards are not given upfront like scholarships and grants. In most cases, they are an offer to earn up to the awarded amount if you secure an eligible work-study job. While there is a misconception that all work-study jobs must be on campus, students can work for off-campus, nonprofit or public employers as long as the work is in the public's interest. You may be able to work for a for-profit employer if the job is relevant to your course of study. No matter who the outside employer is, it will need to have an established agreement with your college for you to receive work-study funds. Remember, to be eligible for federal financial aid, you must be enrolled and pursuing a degree or certificate. If you're not working toward a credential, Pell Grants and work-study won't be option, but you may still be able to take advantage of private scholarships -- just be sure to read the eligibility criteria carefully. [Explore what to know about financial aid in online programs.]-- Pay as you go: One of the great benefits to enrolling online is the flexible schedule, which can allow you to complete your college coursework around your responsibilities. But prospective students often overlook using their part- or full-time job earnings as an option for paying for college. Almost 80 percent of college students in 2015 worked at least part time while attending classes, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. By budgeting and thinking strategically about your college costs, you can likely reduce your dependence on student loans by paying a portion out of pocket. Many -- but not all -- online programs are less expensive than traditional programs and often have shorter payment periods. Six, eight or 10 weeks are common course durations. Because of the frequency of payments in an online setting, you may be well-placed to pay as you go and possibly avoid borrowing altogether. Attending college online and avoiding student loans may be challenging, but if you are willing to put in the effort, you can limit the amount you need to borrow. More from U.S. News Q&A: Understanding Student Loan Discharge Eligibility Student Loan Refinancing Isn't Right for All Borrowers
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