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7 Tips for Thriving When One Spouse Retires

By U.S. News & World Report

It’s not uncommon for two-career couples to retire at different times. This may happen when there is a significant age difference or if one spouse retires sooner than planned due to an unexpected layoff or an irresistible early retirement incentive package. In other cases, one spouse may feel burnt out and ready to throw in the towel while the other spouse is at the peak of his or her career and wants to keep going for a few more years.

Whatever the circumstances, mixed-retirement marriages are situations ripe for resentment and stress. For a time, you and your spouse will have to coexist in different realities, something for which you may be ill-prepared. Here are seven tips that will help you and your spouse adjust to having one spouse work while the other is retired.

1. Go to bed and get up at the same time. The retired spouse might prefer to be a night owl and may relish the idea of not waking up to an alarm clock. But maintaining separate sleep schedules will lead to a decrease in closeness and quality time for you and your spouse to share. Plus, waking up or preparing for bed while the other spouse is trying to sleep may lead to interrupted sleep and annoyance.

It may be helpful for the retired spouse to get a part-time job that starts at the same time as the working spouse’s job, or find a regular volunteer position or activity commitment that involves a similar start time.

[Read: 5 Tips for People Who Will Retire in 2017.]

2. Renegotiate household chores. The retired spouse can take on extra chores, which he or she can perform while the other spouse is still at work. The working spouse will genuinely appreciate this, and it will allow the couple to spend more time enjoying each other’s company during evenings and weekends. However, if you are the working spouse, you should be prepared to accept that the retired spouse may approach some chores differently than you, such as loading the dishwasher or folding the laundry.

Perhaps the greatest potential for marital conflict occurs when the working spouse feels that the retired spouse isn’t doing enough around the house. The retired spouse feels that he or she is entitled to a life of leisure after decades of working, while the working spouse still maintains the burden of working and then coming home to a list of chores.

3. Have honest conversations about how the change in income will impact you. Most people will receive less income from their retirement savings than they enjoyed while they worked. Both you and your spouse should discuss how your spending patterns will change as a result of having less income. This may be particularly relevant for the retired spouse, who will now have more idle hours and may be inclined to spend that time shopping.

[See: 10 Costs to Include in Your Retirement Budget.]

4. The retired spouse can focus on projects that don’t include the other person. Chances are, you have a list of projects that you have been hoping to get to someday when you have the time. If you are the spouse who retires first, you have the opportunity to check these items off of your to-do list. Then when your spouse retires, you’ll have more time to spend together.

5. The retired spouse should remain engaged with the world. Once you are both retired, you will be able to spend time doing things together. But until then, the retired spouse should take steps to avoid being trapped at home alone all day. Some retired spouses find part-time jobs primarily to get out of the house and stay engaged with people. If you are the retired spouse, limit your time watching TV or using the computer so that you don’t form sedentary habits that are unhealthy and may be difficult to break later.

[Read: 7 Tips to Maintain Social Connections in Retirement.]

6. Remain aware of the working spouse’s needs. Once you are retired, you may have little interest in hearing about job-related matters, but your working spouse will appreciate being able to talk about what happened at work that day. Be aware that the working spouse may want to relax and decompress after a hard day at work, while the retired spouse may be eager to start doing things together.

7. Be patient while your spouse adjusts to retirement. Everyone goes through a number of adjustments when they retire. If the retired spouse was accustomed to a highly scheduled day, he or she may find it challenging to adjust to a much less structured routine. The retired spouse will experience less contact with other people during the day, especially in cases where most of his or her friends were co-workers. The retired spouse may struggle with a loss of purpose or work identity. All of these changes may be difficult for the working spouse to comprehend, but it will be helpful for the working spouse to have empathy for the changes the retired spouse is experiencing.

Dave Hughes is the founder of Retire Fabulously.

More from U.S. News

10 Costs You Can Eliminate in Retirement

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7 Tips for Thriving When One Spouse Retires originally appeared on usnews.com

Don’t Settle for Student Loans to Pay for Online Education

By WTOP Staff
Online college programs are becoming a more popular choice for prospective students, with one study finding that more than 6 million students enrolled in at least one online course in fall 2015. The popularity of these courses can be attributed in part to their flexibility with working adults' schedules, students' ability to progress more quickly through online programs and, oftentimes, cheaper tuition. [See 10 low-cost online bachelor's programs for out-of-state students.]Online degrees can be beneficial to many college students, but some studies have shown online learners complete their programs at lower rates than students at traditional brick-and-mortar campuses. Individuals with student loans but no degree comprise two-thirds of defaulted borrowers. Though these numbers are not encouraging, just like for traditional programs, there are ways to reduce how much you'll need to borrow for an online program to ensure you won't become one of these statistics. Don't just settle on borrowing student loans to cover the whole cost of your program and living expenses. Instead, start thinking about how to cut costs and cover your balance in different ways, such as the following. -- Grants and scholarships: Even though you are taking an online course, you can still apply and receive grants and scholarships. But your first step should be to complete the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, commonly referred to as the FAFSA, which will allow you to receive a Pell Grant if your expected family contribution is low enough. The EFC criteria and award amounts are adjusted annually, but the 2017-2018 academic year awards range from $606 to $5,920, which could significantly lower the amount you borrow annually. Your next step is to apply for scholarships. You can start by checking online scholarship search engines, such as the Salt Scholarship Search, College Board's BigFuture and Peterson's. But don't forget to take advantage of local organizations and your school's financial aid office. Both may offer scholarships that you can't find with a national scholarship search. [Review these 10 sites to kick off your scholarship search.]For instance, organizations like the Elks Club, Knights of Columbus or the Rotary Club typically offer scholarships annually to local students. Just because you're going to school online doesn't mean you're ineligible. Visit your local library for scholarship listings, and ask around town. You might be surprised how many local organizations offer scholarships. While these scholarships typically aren't large, every little bit counts. Each dollar you receive in a scholarship is a dollar you don't have to borrow and pay interest on. -- Work-study: Another option for online students may be work-study awards. Not all students enrolled in online programs are eligible, but students at some schools -- including, for example, SUNY Empire State College and Liberty University -- are. Work-study awards are not given upfront like scholarships and grants. In most cases, they are an offer to earn up to the awarded amount if you secure an eligible work-study job. While there is a misconception that all work-study jobs must be on campus, students can work for off-campus, nonprofit or public employers as long as the work is in the public's interest. You may be able to work for a for-profit employer if the job is relevant to your course of study. No matter who the outside employer is, it will need to have an established agreement with your college for you to receive work-study funds. Remember, to be eligible for federal financial aid, you must be enrolled and pursuing a degree or certificate. If you're not working toward a credential, Pell Grants and work-study won't be option, but you may still be able to take advantage of private scholarships -- just be sure to read the eligibility criteria carefully. [Explore what to know about financial aid in online programs.]-- Pay as you go: One of the great benefits to enrolling online is the flexible schedule, which can allow you to complete your college coursework around your responsibilities. But prospective students often overlook using their part- or full-time job earnings as an option for paying for college. Almost 80 percent of college students in 2015 worked at least part time while attending classes, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. By budgeting and thinking strategically about your college costs, you can likely reduce your dependence on student loans by paying a portion out of pocket. Many -- but not all -- online programs are less expensive than traditional programs and often have shorter payment periods. Six, eight or 10 weeks are common course durations. Because of the frequency of payments in an online setting, you may be well-placed to pay as you go and possibly avoid borrowing altogether. Attending college online and avoiding student loans may be challenging, but if you are willing to put in the effort, you can limit the amount you need to borrow. More from U.S. News Q&A: Understanding Student Loan Discharge Eligibility Student Loan Refinancing Isn't Right for All Borrowers
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