Skip to main content

Why Being Mean to People Might Actually Help Them in the Future

Being mean to someone isn’t typically seen as something to be proud of — but what if you were doing it in order to help someone else?

Though a roundabout way of doing so, people might try and make someone feel bad in a situation where they think it will be helpful to someone in the future, a new study says.

Previous studies have found people look to make others feel bad with personal gain in mind, though researchers for this study wanted to find out whether people would do it altruistically.

The study of 140 adults included multiple parts, one of which was playing a computer game. Everyone in the study was assigned to be “Player B,” thinking there was a Player A they were partnered with for said game — though no such player existed. The study was published in Psychological Science, an Association for Psychological Science journal.

First, players were given a note “written” by Player A that detailed the player’s recent breakup and their despair surrounding it. One group of players was told to think about Player A’s feelings, while another was advised to stay detached.

Next, players were asked to play one of two games: “Soldier of Fortune,” a first-person shooter game with a goal of killing as many enemies as possible, or “Escape Dead Island,” a first-person game where the objective was to escape from a zombie-filled room. These were meant to represent confrontation and avoidance goals, respectively. Then, after listening to music clips and reading short descriptions of the games which had differing emotional content, they rated on a scale of 1 to 7 how much they thought their partners should listen to and read the media, among other ratings.

It turned out people who empathized with Player A were the ones who tried evoking emotions out of them, varying per the goal of the specific computer game. For the shooter game, Player B picked angry music clips and game description, while for the zombie game, Player B chose fear-inducing media. Those asked to feel empathy “decided to induce anger in a supposed fellow participant” who was working to achieve a confrontation goal, the study abstract notes.

“We have shown that people can be ‘cruel to be kind’ — that is, they may decide to make someone feel worse if this emotion is beneficial for that other person, even if this does not entail any personal benefit for them,” study author Belén López-Pérez said in a statement. For example, you might induce “the fear of failure in a loved one who is procrastinating instead of studying for an exam,” López-Pérez continued.

But what does this study tell us, exactly, going forward?

“These findings shed light on social dynamics, helping us to understand, for instance, why we sometimes may try to make our loved ones feel bad if we perceive this emotion to be useful to achieve a goal,” noted López-Pérez, who performed the study while at the University of Plymouth, and currently is at Liverpool Hope University.

Looks like being tough with someone might be the best medicine after all.

How to Stop Emotional Eating

8 Things You Didn’t Know About Counseling

More from U.S. News

How to Stop Emotional Eating

7 Types of Friends You Need to Break Up With

8 Things You Didn’t Know About Counseling

Why Being Mean to People Might Actually Help Them in the Future originally appeared on usnews.com

Don’t Settle for Student Loans to Pay for Online Education

Online college programs are becoming a more popular choice for prospective students, with one study finding that more than 6 million students enrolled in at least one online course in fall 2015. The popularity of these courses can be attributed in part to their flexibility with working adults' schedules, students' ability to progress more quickly through online programs and, oftentimes, cheaper tuition. [See 10 low-cost online bachelor's programs for out-of-state students.]Online degrees can be beneficial to many college students, but some studies have shown online learners complete their programs at lower rates than students at traditional brick-and-mortar campuses. Individuals with student loans but no degree comprise two-thirds of defaulted borrowers. Though these numbers are not encouraging, just like for traditional programs, there are ways to reduce how much you'll need to borrow for an online program to ensure you won't become one of these statistics. Don't just settle on borrowing student loans to cover the whole cost of your program and living expenses. Instead, start thinking about how to cut costs and cover your balance in different ways, such as the following. -- Grants and scholarships: Even though you are taking an online course, you can still apply and receive grants and scholarships. But your first step should be to complete the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, commonly referred to as the FAFSA, which will allow you to receive a Pell Grant if your expected family contribution is low enough. The EFC criteria and award amounts are adjusted annually, but the 2017-2018 academic year awards range from $606 to $5,920, which could significantly lower the amount you borrow annually. Your next step is to apply for scholarships. You can start by checking online scholarship search engines, such as the Salt Scholarship Search, College Board's BigFuture and Peterson's. But don't forget to take advantage of local organizations and your school's financial aid office. Both may offer scholarships that you can't find with a national scholarship search. [Review these 10 sites to kick off your scholarship search.]For instance, organizations like the Elks Club, Knights of Columbus or the Rotary Club typically offer scholarships annually to local students. Just because you're going to school online doesn't mean you're ineligible. Visit your local library for scholarship listings, and ask around town. You might be surprised how many local organizations offer scholarships. While these scholarships typically aren't large, every little bit counts. Each dollar you receive in a scholarship is a dollar you don't have to borrow and pay interest on. -- Work-study: Another option for online students may be work-study awards. Not all students enrolled in online programs are eligible, but students at some schools -- including, for example, SUNY Empire State College and Liberty University -- are. Work-study awards are not given upfront like scholarships and grants. In most cases, they are an offer to earn up to the awarded amount if you secure an eligible work-study job. While there is a misconception that all work-study jobs must be on campus, students can work for off-campus, nonprofit or public employers as long as the work is in the public's interest. You may be able to work for a for-profit employer if the job is relevant to your course of study. No matter who the outside employer is, it will need to have an established agreement with your college for you to receive work-study funds. Remember, to be eligible for federal financial aid, you must be enrolled and pursuing a degree or certificate. If you're not working toward a credential, Pell Grants and work-study won't be option, but you may still be able to take advantage of private scholarships -- just be sure to read the eligibility criteria carefully. [Explore what to know about financial aid in online programs.]-- Pay as you go: One of the great benefits to enrolling online is the flexible schedule, which can allow you to complete your college coursework around your responsibilities. But prospective students often overlook using their part- or full-time job earnings as an option for paying for college. Almost 80 percent of college students in 2015 worked at least part time while attending classes, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. By budgeting and thinking strategically about your college costs, you can likely reduce your dependence on student loans by paying a portion out of pocket. Many -- but not all -- online programs are less expensive than traditional programs and often have shorter payment periods. Six, eight or 10 weeks are common course durations. Because of the frequency of payments in an online setting, you may be well-placed to pay as you go and possibly avoid borrowing altogether. Attending college online and avoiding student loans may be challenging, but if you are willing to put in the effort, you can limit the amount you need to borrow. More from U.S. News Q&A: Understanding Student Loan Discharge Eligibility Student Loan Refinancing Isn't Right for All Borrowers
Read Next Story