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5 Tips for Successful Co-Parenting

By U.S. News & World Report

The best time to think about co-parenting with your former partner or spouse is while you negotiate the parenting agreement — which will spell out your parenting time schedules and decision-making responsibilities — and related financial matters, like child support.

This is also the perfect time to make the attitude adjustments necessary to ensure the success of your co-parenting efforts. Both parents must carefully consider how they will communicate with one another and talk about each other with the kids.

Here are some recommendations to consider:

Keep your feelings about the “other parent” out of your kids’ heads and hearts. It’s expected that both of you will continue to grapple with feelings of betrayal, anger or abandonment. But behaving in ways that show your kids your “true” feelings about the other parent will guarantee co-parenting failure.

Co-parenting requires maturity and dignity. Your ex isn’t interested in listening to a rehash about your feelings. Keep the focus on what’s going on with your kids. Intense expressions of anger or rage are not an appropriate part of co-parenting.

Of course, your feelings deserve respect and attention. Find appropriate outlets to express these feelings. Venting online in ways easily accessed by your kids only adds to their post-breakup burdens. Brief issue-focused therapy or a local support group may be better options.

[See: 10 Concerns Parents Have About Their Kids’ Health.]

Maintain respect for the other parent. The ability to praise, respect and express appreciation for the other parent characterizes all successful co-parenting relationships. Sometimes a bit of encouragement creates needed positive change. After all, the carrot always works better than the stick.

Open lines of communication. Many marriages and relationships perish from lack of communication. If poor communication contributed to your breakup, resolve to make open communication about your kids a key priority.

Approach co-parenting communication in a business-like way. Some parents find scheduling a weekly status meeting helpful. Explore online resources for parenting time scheduling, and share updates about kids’ activities and things like parent-teacher conferences. Emailing and leaving the occasional voice message work well for many cooperative co-parents.

[Read: How to Stay Healthy During a Divorce.]

Prepare for change. Nothing is more certain in life than change. Your ability to co-parent successfully depends largely on your willingness to accept that most aspects of your life will radically change.

In fact, the very fear of change explains why so many people stay in unfulfilling or even abusive relationships.

But it’s really best for you and your kids to tackle the changes ahead, so everyone can move forward.

Encourage your kids to express their worries and concerns. Give your kids ample opportunities to express their feelings about how their day-to-day lives will change.

Your kids will want to know the nuts and bolts of the new co-parenting agreement. Young kids will want to know if they’ll still go trick-or-treating and how Santa Claus and the tooth fairy will find them. Older kids will want to know when and how transitions from one home to another will take place. Expect pointed questions about where family pets will live.

[See: 12 Questions You Should Ask Your Kids at Dinner.]

It’s likely you won’t have instant answers for every question your kids ask. Reassure your kids that you may not have an answer now, but you will discuss their concerns with the other parent. Make sure they know that it’s more than OK with you if they have the same conversation with their other parent.

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5 Tips for Successful Co-Parenting originally appeared on usnews.com

Don’t Settle for Student Loans to Pay for Online Education

By WTOP Staff
Online college programs are becoming a more popular choice for prospective students, with one study finding that more than 6 million students enrolled in at least one online course in fall 2015. The popularity of these courses can be attributed in part to their flexibility with working adults' schedules, students' ability to progress more quickly through online programs and, oftentimes, cheaper tuition. [See 10 low-cost online bachelor's programs for out-of-state students.]Online degrees can be beneficial to many college students, but some studies have shown online learners complete their programs at lower rates than students at traditional brick-and-mortar campuses. Individuals with student loans but no degree comprise two-thirds of defaulted borrowers. Though these numbers are not encouraging, just like for traditional programs, there are ways to reduce how much you'll need to borrow for an online program to ensure you won't become one of these statistics. Don't just settle on borrowing student loans to cover the whole cost of your program and living expenses. Instead, start thinking about how to cut costs and cover your balance in different ways, such as the following. -- Grants and scholarships: Even though you are taking an online course, you can still apply and receive grants and scholarships. But your first step should be to complete the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, commonly referred to as the FAFSA, which will allow you to receive a Pell Grant if your expected family contribution is low enough. The EFC criteria and award amounts are adjusted annually, but the 2017-2018 academic year awards range from $606 to $5,920, which could significantly lower the amount you borrow annually. Your next step is to apply for scholarships. You can start by checking online scholarship search engines, such as the Salt Scholarship Search, College Board's BigFuture and Peterson's. But don't forget to take advantage of local organizations and your school's financial aid office. Both may offer scholarships that you can't find with a national scholarship search. [Review these 10 sites to kick off your scholarship search.]For instance, organizations like the Elks Club, Knights of Columbus or the Rotary Club typically offer scholarships annually to local students. Just because you're going to school online doesn't mean you're ineligible. Visit your local library for scholarship listings, and ask around town. You might be surprised how many local organizations offer scholarships. While these scholarships typically aren't large, every little bit counts. Each dollar you receive in a scholarship is a dollar you don't have to borrow and pay interest on. -- Work-study: Another option for online students may be work-study awards. Not all students enrolled in online programs are eligible, but students at some schools -- including, for example, SUNY Empire State College and Liberty University -- are. Work-study awards are not given upfront like scholarships and grants. In most cases, they are an offer to earn up to the awarded amount if you secure an eligible work-study job. While there is a misconception that all work-study jobs must be on campus, students can work for off-campus, nonprofit or public employers as long as the work is in the public's interest. You may be able to work for a for-profit employer if the job is relevant to your course of study. No matter who the outside employer is, it will need to have an established agreement with your college for you to receive work-study funds. Remember, to be eligible for federal financial aid, you must be enrolled and pursuing a degree or certificate. If you're not working toward a credential, Pell Grants and work-study won't be option, but you may still be able to take advantage of private scholarships -- just be sure to read the eligibility criteria carefully. [Explore what to know about financial aid in online programs.]-- Pay as you go: One of the great benefits to enrolling online is the flexible schedule, which can allow you to complete your college coursework around your responsibilities. But prospective students often overlook using their part- or full-time job earnings as an option for paying for college. Almost 80 percent of college students in 2015 worked at least part time while attending classes, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. By budgeting and thinking strategically about your college costs, you can likely reduce your dependence on student loans by paying a portion out of pocket. Many -- but not all -- online programs are less expensive than traditional programs and often have shorter payment periods. Six, eight or 10 weeks are common course durations. Because of the frequency of payments in an online setting, you may be well-placed to pay as you go and possibly avoid borrowing altogether. Attending college online and avoiding student loans may be challenging, but if you are willing to put in the effort, you can limit the amount you need to borrow. More from U.S. News Q&A: Understanding Student Loan Discharge Eligibility Student Loan Refinancing Isn't Right for All Borrowers
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