School-related stress has long been an issue for teens. But concerns over increasing academic demands and heightened social pressure have parents and educators looking for answers.
Two of Paul Hughes’ four children, Liam, 17, and Brennan, 15, attend the High Technology High School in Lincroft, New Jersey, the No. 1-ranked Best High School for STEM by U.S. News. He says many kids come from environments where a lot of pressure is put on them to achieve.
Competitive high schools in the San Francisco Bay Area have taken steps recently to relieve some of the pressure felt among teens, such as by hiring more counselors and limiting homework, among other strategies, a local news publication reported. Four students in Palo Alto high schools committed suicide during the 2014-2015 school year, and the district experienced a cluster of suicides in 2009-2010.
“I think the stakes are exponentially higher,” says Hughes. It’s not just academic pressure, he says, but social media has also allowed teens to compete against each other in their social life, too.
Parents can take the following steps before school starts to create a plan with high schoolers to combat stress.
1. Talk about last year: Summer is a good time for parents to have conversations with their students about how teens managed stress last year to see what worked and didn’t work, says Tim Gissal, a school psychologist with Sarasota County Schools in Florida who works with high schoolers, including those at the No. 7-ranked high school in the country, the Pine View School.
[Get 3 tips for parents to teach healthy study habits to teens.]
Families can talk about what changes the student should make in the upcoming year, perhaps studying earlier in the evening to ease the pressure from procrastinating, for example. If students don’t follow through come fall, parents could gently remind their student about the summertime conversation.
2. Encourage teens to work on academic trouble spots: Sometimes anxiety may stem from a particular skill students haven’t mastered yet, or an inability to demonstrate those skills on a test or project, says Gissal.
Students could work on those issues over the summer to reduce anxiety come September, he says.
New Jersey dad Hughes says while he expects his children to excel, he knows they can’t perform well unless they are healthy mentally. His knows students put a lot of pressure on themselves during the school year, so he encourages his kids to take time in the summer to relax and explore other activities.
3. Assess how students have dealt with stress in the past: Everyone deals with stress and anxiety differently, says Gissal, but parents should look at how their children have dealt with stress in the past as a starting point.
Sometimes students internalize it more and may need to do a calming activity, like reading a book. Others may externalize stress and would benefit from an activity like running.
And while children should know their parents are there for them, parents shouldn’t solve problems for their kids or put more pressure on them, Gissal says.
[Find out more tips for parents to help teens de-stress.]
Hughes says parents should resize their expectations of their kids. While everyone wants their children to get into the best colleges, Hughes says, that isn’t the wisest goal for all students.
He’s encouraged his kids to choose a college that is the best fit for them — his oldest son, Matthew, 18, will be a freshman at Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey–New Brunswick this fall — and wants them to know he doesn’t expect them to have a perfect GPA.
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Make a Plan for Teens to Manage Stress Before School Starts originally appeared on usnews.com