Diet is a four-letter cuss word in Traci Baker’s house. She and her son Mason Baker have made it a rule to stay away from words that give healthy choices a bad connotation.

“It’s an everyday battle for us,” says the president of Bariatric Life Coach Association LLC, referencing her lifelong struggle with obesity, which prompted her to get bariatric weight-loss surgery almost eight years ago. She’s also watched school bullies tease her son about his oversized waistline since he started third grade. But Mason, now a high school sophomore, isn’t a stand-alone case. He’s among the 1 in 3 children or adolescents who are overweight or obese in the U.S., according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

“Obesity is a disease that we don’t talk about in a positive way,” Traci Baker says. “A lot of people don’t understand what we or our kids go through.” From what you eat to what you do, Baker knows changing your lifestyle isn’t easy, but it’s also not impossible. Here are some tips from medical experts on how parents can help their children get to a healthier weight.

Talk to a pediatrician. Before you revamp your fridge, make sure your child does, in fact, need to lose weight. It can be difficult to judge whether your child has a weight issue without a medical opinion. In recent research, Dr. Dustin Duncan, assistant professor in the Department of Population Health at New York University School of Medicine, found that nearly all parents thought their preschooler was at a healthy weight, when many were not. Duncan and his team studied 3,839 children from 1988 to 1994 and 3,153 children from 2007 to 2012. The studies of children 2 to 5 years old showed that 97 percent of parents in the first survey thought their overweight child was healthy, and 95 percent thought the same in the second. Duncan says the results show how difficult it is for parents to accurately identify problems in their child’s weight.

He adds that it’s important for parents to talk with a pediatrician and ask about their child’s body mass index, a calculation of weight and height that shows whether a child is at a healthy level. Obesity in children is defined as at or above the 95th percentile by the CDC. If your child has reached that percentile, pediatricians can help set realistic goals to get your child to a healthier BMI.

Start with a family discussion. Kristi King, a senior dietitian at Texas Children’s Hospital and spokeswoman for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, recommends using family members with health issues to segue into a discussion about eating healthier as a household. Talking about the health needs of a grandparent with diabetes, for example, is a way to avoid putting a spotlight on your child. “It works much easier when the whole family gets involved,” she says. King adds that many parents are surprised to discover their kids have an opinion on their body weight but don’t voice it. She recommends asking, “Do you like the way you look? What do you want to change?” Sometimes the conversation can help a child open up about whether he or she has been picked on in school because of body weight.

Keep weight loss positive. Parents should be sensitive with words when talking about weight concerns, steering clear of any name-calling or blunt language. “Those words hurt, and those words are going to stick with their children,” King says. Instead, she says it helps to know what will motivate your child to lose weight. “If we elicit negative emotions, that doesn’t motivate you to make a healthy change — that just makes you feel worse,” says Dr. Stephen Pont, pediatrician at Dell Children’s Medical Center of Central Texas and chair of the American Academy of Pediatrics Section on Obesity. He says families should use positive reinforcement to praise healthy decisions. For example, if your child opts for an apple instead of a bag of chips, acknowledge that healthy choice.

Make small changes that stick. Eating healthier doesn’t mean your child can’t have birthday cake or soda on a special occasion. “Food should not be eliminated completely. It’s not like tobacco or alcohol, where if someone is inclined to overdo it, they can go cold turkey,” Pont says. His patients who have the greatest success managing their weight are those who make small changes that stick. One way to do that is to try the 5, 2, 1, 0 method. Each day, your child should eat five fruits or vegetables, spend two or less hours using an electronic device, get one hour of physical activity and have zero sugary drinks, he says. Many families also tend to overeat, and measuring food before mealtimes is a way to teach kids portion control. King’s rule of thumb: Use your hand to measure food. Meat shouldn’t be thicker than your hand, fruit shouldn’t be bigger than your fist and bread shouldn’t be longer than two palms side by side.

Switch your snack strategy. Snacks are essential for the development of growing kids, but so is setting limits, King says. You can’t expect your child to immediately jump for joy when you swap a Twinkie for a banana. Instead, make a list of healthy snacks, and let them chose what they like. Easy substitutes for processed snacks include: an apple and string cheese, a tablespoon of peanut butter with a banana or low-fat yogurt and fruit. “Keep it at eye level, so it’s right there and easy to grab,” she says, adding that snacks should include two food groups to help kids meet recommended daily nutrients.

Don’t rush weight loss. Encourage your kids to make healthy lifestyle changes, but don’t obsess over numbers. “Teaching them to count calories … might actually harm them in the future,” King says, “and they could end up with an eating disorder.” The amount of calories kids should consume depends on age, gender and weight, so it’s important to ask your pediatrician or dietitian how many calories your child should have daily and what food groups they should come from. For kids under 11 years old, weight loss should happen very gradually, King says. Kids can lose a half-pound to a pound per week, but if they are losing more, she says that could put them at risk for not getting all the nutrients they need.

Exercise as a family. One of the first steps parents can take to get their kids moving is to shut off the TV, Pont says. Since children with obesity tend to do very little physical activity, he recommends starting slow with walks around the block. “My family and I enjoy martial arts because my wife and I can do physical activity and learn a new skill at the same time as our kids,” Pont says. He adds that it’s important to find an activity your child likes, whether it’s joining the soccer team or going on family nature hikes, so he or she doesn’t see it as a chore. As an incentive, King recommends parents offer rewards for accomplishing physical activities. For example, a family trip to the movies can be a reward for biking three times a week.

Don’t give up. Traci Baker says it’s never too late to start a healthier life for you and your kids. While she says she feels responsible for passing on the unhealthy habits that led to her son’s obesity, together they push each other to live a healthier lifestyle by reading food labels and preparing healthy meals. Overcoming obesity isn’t just a day-by-day goal, she adds. It’s minute-by-minute. “It’s something [people] have to work on on a daily basis and know they’re going to have bad days,” she says. “That’s OK. [They] just have to know to pick themselves up and start a new day.”

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When Your Child Has Obesity: How to Tackle Weight Loss as a Family originally appeared on usnews.com