Financial setbacks, whether related to a layoff, massive medical bill or bankruptcy filing, can hit hard. In addition to figuring out how to get back on track with your money, you’re also dealing with the emotional strife that comes with such a significant setback. In her new book, “Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life,” life coach Christine Hassler says major disappointments can actually be useful experiences that can lead to bigger and better things.
“When I go talk to companies about Generation Y, I tell them to hire college grads who have had an expectation hangover and handled it well.” Those make the best employees, Hassler says, because they know how to cope with inevitable pitfalls. Setbacks can teach people perseverance, discipline and humility, she adds.
[Read: Great Expectations: Millennials, Motherhood and Money.]
The Great Recession gave many people the opportunity to learn those skills, including Hassler. “When the recession hit, I was also going through a divorce, and my husband was my financial security,” she notes. But she was able to build her life coaching business and take on more speaking engagements, and she found even more success and happiness than before.
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Among her clients, Hassler says she saw many people suffer when the reality of their lives did not meet their expectations, especially if they were trying to build their careers and lives during the height of the Great Recession. Millennials have been particularly affected. “The millennials are facing a massive expectation hangover. Not just [because of] the economy, but also they were told growing up, ‘As long as you have your degree and passion, everything will work out,'” she says.
For those going through similar financial hardship, Hassler offers these strategies for finding light on the other side of the darkness:
1. Wallow in your grief.
“Everyone’s a human being first,” Hassler says. That means you have to let yourself grieve any significant loss, and a job loss certain qualifies. Once you recover from the initial shock, Hassler recommends working with a coach or mentor — someone who can help you talk through your options and future possibilities.
[Read: Why Millennial Women Have a Money Problem.]
2. Maintain an attitude of abundance.
“My business thrived because I didn’t buy into the expectation that people were going to be cutting back,” Hassler says, adding that she continued relying on her own service providers, including a coach and massage therapist. “People who really thrive look at, ‘How else might I generate money? Do I need to be more entrepreneurial? Spend differently?’ The people who suffered are the ones who allowed themselves to be victimized,” she says.
Hassler also recommends looking at the non-cash ways you’re abundant, from the clothes in your closet to close friendships. “Your bank account isn’t the only reflection of your abundance,” she says.
3. Reflect on what you learned.
Are there useful experiences and skills that you’re taking from your former job? “Do an inventory of all the gifts that you got — new skills or things that you learned about yourself. Focus on what you gained,” Hassler says.
4. Figure out your next steps.
Maybe a career setback means you’re working longer at a minimum wage job than you intended, but you can take an online computer science course in your free time or attend more networking events, Hassler says. In the long run, she adds, that kind of experimentation can lead to unexpected greatness. “My biggest strides in my career came from my failure and suffering,” she says.
[See: 10 Ways to Feel Better About Your Money.]
5. Go with the flow.
“When anything’s taken away, it’s a really good opportunity to allow ourselves to be guided by the universe a little more,” Hassler says. In other words, pay attention to the opportunities that come your way and maximize your chances of getting new opportunities by perfecting your elevator pitch, for example. “Be able to say in 30 seconds what you’re uniquely good at and the opportunities you’re seeking,” she adds.
6. Take care of yourself.
One important aspect of financial recover y is self-care, Hassler says. That might mean hiring a coach to help you with your goals, investing in an online education program to move you closer to your career goals or going on a retreat with other like-minded people to help gain clarity on your next steps. “Spending on yourself and your growth is an investment, not an expense,” she says.
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How to Overcome Financial Disappointment originally appeared on usnews.com